As I faced my maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the lord along with all the other souls, before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles. An Angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life. But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes, each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in everyday life. I saw hardship that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. I glanced around me, nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose, each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn’t had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter, but there had also been trials of illness, and death, and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it.

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the two pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long work from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and the half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect one was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you. I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts”, the pot said.

I’ll never claim any mastery in this subject, because I’m not a psychologist. I'm just naturally inquisitive; I want to know, I seek understanding in all possible ways, and with an analytical mind. I'm tempted to always analyze life, circumstances and issues that border on our existence as humans and how we relate with our environment. This has brought me into considering, asking questions and seeking to know what there is to know about guys and ladies, to understand how ladies see guys and how guys see ladies. These views are not absolute because there is more to the world of guys and ladies than meets the eye. As opposed to surveys, books, information from experts in fields that study human behavior – I understand as a result of thinking and deep insights, so I write. I am absolutely open to debate, but do not forget the facts stated in the main body of the text, because they'll make for a better society, because the foundation of our society is the family. I understand from the writings in the Preacher that, "There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not: ...and the way of a man with a maiden." The way of a man with a maiden, deep! Though wonderful, the wise man cannot figure it out; he still finds it difficult to comprehend the totality of the concept – “the way of a man with a maiden”. The feeling is not strange, it's normal; it is a mystery. The concept of love between two different individuals could just be too bizarre, to think of demystifying it or explaining it. But it happens and one thing leads to another and the two find themselves joined for life! Interesting. From relating with both guys and ladies over the years, I’ve come the understanding that there's a very big gulf between the thinking patterns of a guy and that of a lady. Their likes and dislikes never match, but still something happens and they start liking each other, then interest sets in, then it goes on and on from there. Can someone please explain how this happens or what the secret behind this phenomenon is? How two individuals with varying lifestyles just come to love themselves and this love grows so strong that it seems like a blood connection, even before marriage? “The way of a man with a maiden!”

The Pareto principle, also known as the 80-20 rule (the law of the vital few and the principle of factor sparsity) states that for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes (As stated in the Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia). This principle has also been applied to many morel areas of life outside business. In recent times I've been wondering why in most cases 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. It really amazes me when decisions are taken based on this rule. In business it will be great and fine to do that but in dealing with individuals and people in general, the application of this rule, in my opinion would be detrimental to the peace of any society. This is because the decisions that will be made by the leadership of the society will be based on the 20% cause, which in most cases are not pleasant causes. So the majority of the society is subject to the effect of the actions of the seemingly vital few (as portrayed by the principle). I have been in situations where the pleasant deeds of 80% of the populace is acknowledged but still, vital decisions are made based on the misdeeds of the 20%, and in every way I've been trying to understand this concept, to me it sometimes comes across as wicked. At other times, I just wonder why the unpleasant 20% should determine the turn of events in a society with a pleasant 80% doing all things as expected.

When the rich oppress or kill the poor it is understandable because there are probably huge differences in interest. When the rich kill the rich we may say that there was a clash of interest so one had to bow to the other. But when the poor kill the poor, how do we understand that? Are there hidden violent tendecies provoked by hunger or does poverty reduce men to brutal forces of darkness. If they killed and ate the bodies, I may say that they needed food. But when it comes to the point that poor people, with no education and forseeable progress drop their food bowls and pick up arms to destroy one another all in the name of religion, then I have to consider insanity. What’s going on in Northern Nigeria right now is absolutely disheartening. When I saw images of the slaughter I almost jumped out of my chair. How can people live like this, waking up one morning and determining that you will kill someone in the name of God. What devilish motivation inspires you to think that the same God who you believe will create a person will mandate you to destroy that person. This is the grand deception going on in that part of the country, fuel by Muslim extremist and religious freaks.