But in the past months I have be appraising the inefficiencies and deficiencies in my life, especially those having to do with online relationships; those affiliations nurtured by cyber ϋber culture. Just like every other outlet of human interaction facilitated by technology, social networking has proven to be the neo-globalization that makes the economic definition trivial. I have created new friendships, reactivated old ones, facilitated strategic partnerships transcending geography and culture, promoted successful events all through social networking. And we know of course I wouldn’t be wrong if I posit that Facebook is now synonymous with the term social networking. So, most if not all of the above feathers in my social cap were awarded by Facebook. But frankly there lies this little matter that needs to be addressed, and this borders on the nature of cyber social contacts. Have they made the world more closely knit, or simply noncommittal?

So much goes on these online social platforms that it is almost impossible to measure cause and effect. Beyond the basic idea of searching out old friends and connecting with new ones, is the rise of causes, ideas, projects, and initiatives that seem to rally people around a common goal. It would usually take a really committed person to join a cause around their community and work at accomplishing the set goals. But now, it is just a click away. You hit the ‘Like’ button and you automatically support the cause. Not more is demanded from you. After discovering that I had unknowingly join almost 150 groups and pages on Facebook, I had to cleanup my domain and still found that I was still present in over a hundred whose cause I believe in. But beyond the premium I place on what they do, is that I rarely if at all visit up to ten of such pages in a week, neither do I make any concerted effort to advance their agenda. My support is at best a hearty concern.

Before the opportunities to know of and get more involved with great initiatives came around, we were limited to our immediate confines of influence, which required a stronger sense of responsibility and accountability. But with the gradual migration of community resources to the online platform, I find that most people have therefore created an online personality to match through which they interact with anything on the “webosphere”. It is simply the feel good personality who joins a good cause and comment a few times on its wall then hop on another wagon with little or no measurable influence on the former. A few others have decided that it is their own opportunity to make their voices heard by forming all kinds of groups and fan pages, which by the way, a closer look will reveal a similar group, doing a similar thing, in a similar location. So beyond partnership is the desire for ownership. This is by no means a bad thing unless we check to what end.

A few things to note is that first, our society is progressing in stages, and what we have now is that stage where social activism and participation is being sparked by technology. Whether it moves from there is left for social prophets or seers to prognosticate on. Second is that social networks have increase social participation that never existed. Until we had mobile phones and social platforms, our influence remained limited to work, family or our varying flirtations. But now, we can discuss serious or stupid matters with people we have never seen but have a common interest.

Thirdly, many of the people who use these social platforms are lacking in knowledge of the strategic approaches to generating results through these tools. While in some countries, Social Media has already become a curriculum in schools, seeing how the future portends, Nigeria is still lacking in such proactive academic thinking. I remember going to Syracuse University sometime this year and was speaking with a German Professor who was designing a major Social Media study for the Ph.D. level students. I was impressed at the level to which she had created points of power from the concept.

This is an exciting time in human history that we have become so crazily connected in scary ways. But with this comes also the issue of the connections of nothingness or naughtiness. There is an increased capacity for superfluity in transience and this makes it feel like a dangerously big bubble. People now feel that can lend their voices and not their hands, discussing passionately online and reverting to nonchalance and avoiding personal responsibility. Again it is not necessarily bad, at least we can infer from some intelligent assertions, but how erratic these forums have become with no calculable impact on society.

I have worked the social platform, but I learnt never to start one without a matching tangible on-ground structure. So the onus is to take a more quantitative and qualitative approach to how we can translate our online power (potential power) into actual measurable impact. Then we leave some structure for the next generation to flag off their contributions.

Connections are a necessary first step, but for social networks to really deliver on its true value, connections must become partnership. These are the amazing potentials we enjoy today and it presents us with the opportunity to move along the continuum from connections to friendships, from friendships to partners, and from partners to progress.

Who tells you to turn away from sin is easy? Who says to shun temptations and worldly pleasures is funny? But, this Life I’ve chosen; this Life is my discipline!

Who tells you it’s simple to forgive and forget the pains inflicted on us by loved ones? Who says it’s effortless to pardon friends who turned betrayers, and not to strike back at friends who stabbed our hearts? Who says it’s amusing to love ones enemies? But, this Life is my choice; this Life is my love!

Who says we don’t feel like giving up sometimes, especially when we are overwhelmed by the troubles and cares of this life? Who affirms that we don’t feel like caving in when the challenges of life become overbearing? Who says to rise again after a fall is as easy as the falling especially if you’ve fallen many times? Who says to build our lives again from the rubbles of the past and the ruins of the present is simple? But, this is the Life I have embraced; this Life is my encouragement!

Is anybody saying, “Sacrificing your last is easy?” or “letting go of your only, no big deal?” Who says it’s normal or human to give out of your need with your needs starring you straight in the face? Who says to turn your back at your own will, to close your eyes to your own dreams and lay your desires on the alter of sacrifice, just to embrace His own will is easy? But, this is the Life I’ve chosen; this Life is my joy, my incentive and my reward!

Who says we don’t feel weak sometimes? Who says we don’t, sometimes, feel perplexed and confused with clouds filling our hearts? Who opines that the journey’s always smooth with the skies so bright, the sun smiling and gay, and beauty all around? But, this is my life; and this is my motivation and my comfort!

Who says we don’t feel fear? Who says we don’t get scared sometimes? Who is of the belief that situations and circumstances sometimes don’t frighten us? But, this life if my choice; this life is my courage!

It’s ok to face challenges; it’s ok to cry; it’s ok to be tempted…but in all these things, we are more than conquerors through Christ who strengthens us ! Alleluia!

Consider that one of these folks has to serve in a public office or a position to influence people and they still have this kind of mentality, what kind of influence will they have on the people they are leading, other than setting precedents for rivalry, division and contention, because they have no understanding of personal differences and how to manage inter-personal relationships.

Think of the man who says, “I love my wife and I beat her up any time she goes wrong because I love her, if I don’t do that she’ll no get how important so things are” what kind of love is this? I believe love without respect is ‘no-love’; this kind of man tends to see the woman beneath him and considers what “of what good is she than take care of the home and the children” hence when he meets other women folk in more organized environments he either has problem with them based on basis of ‘why they should be working in such environment’, and others tend ‘to compare their wives to the women they meet at work, hence they are never satisfied with what the woman does at home’.

Other men would consider listening to a woman as a sign of weakness, or giving thoughts and attention to her opinions a sign of weakness; others consider ‘that fear in my wife and kids is the beginning of respect. Some women consider that of what good is being sincere to him, when I can’t be sure that he is even sincere to me – with no platform on which to base her assumption; others think since I can’t trust the men folk, based on personal experiences or stories of hurt, rape or molestation, what’s the point getting married, I rather stay single adopt a child and live my life fighting against the ills of male chauvinism and dominance in the society. The question is what example is she setting, she’s not been able to manage a family, how can she really understand what women who are in families face, to know how to help them? The list of things to be considered in this issue is endless.

In my opinion, there is no utopia in marriage, no absolutes, because we are wired in different manners, what one person can accommodate might just be what another person will tolerate, hence they can’t be subjected to same circumstances and expected to yield same results. But based on the everlasting truth, the union of man and woman should be blissful, peaceful and productive with the main mandate for dominion and fruitfulness. This is not achieved by wishing or dreaming it, to fulfill the purpose of marriage and realize the power of the family, we must be willing to pay the price.

“Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth and subdue it…” is man’s mandate on earth and the creator saw that man needed a help-mate to accomplish these tasks; hence he gave him the woman – to compliments his efforts not to complete them. This was the first known marriage union. The concept of the help-mate in my opinion is a person who reasons with the partner on better ways to achieve their goals, and provides the required assistance in the pursuit of these goals, as we understand two are better than one. Many times men folks around see the woman as being beneath them, hence the avenues to share thoughts and ideas are eliminated. I must say a home without the voice of the woman is a home on its way to disaster.


Along the line in the history of human existence, man had to be the one to take the responsibility of choosing who to marry and deciding how his home will be run. A man must go out and search for the woman who he loves, would love and respect as long as they live, no one is entitled to making this decision for him, and he must structure the patterns in his house, no one is also entitled to doing this for him; and when he’s found the woman his heart desires, they are to pattern their family according by their ideas not by public opinion. In the society today, this is not so as these responsibilities now belong to the parents and members of the partners’ families, the church or social circles; many men don’t consider their choices good enough, or their folks don’t trust their choices, so the best is make this choice for them. Because of the fear of the future, many couples refuse to operate on their ideals when it comes to issue of the family, they prefer to operate on what people think and what people say, hence they build the home on a faulty foundation, selling the individuality of the kids that should come to that home to the opinions of the people. This I submit, the home that is run by the people cannot lead the people.

The unique story of the service of this family as I read through their history baffled me, as I wondered if Ted Kennedy didn’t realize the danger that he was going to be putting himself running for Presidency in a country where his brothers – serving in high government offices – were assassinated. To him, I believe the dream for a better America was greater than any of his fears; no man just wakes up with such conviction, at least not everybody comes to the realization of such compelling truth before living this world.

Their unique story is not unconnected to the decisions of the father – Joseph Kennedy Sr., he decided to train all his kids to be leaders, this was with a lot of support from his wife; they decided to bring their kids up to understand service to their people, putting a burning desire in each of them to make a mark on the sand of time. Your background has a lot to do with you future, if it is great then check the background, only few people have such unconnected backgrounds and their stories are unique for their decisions to break off status-qua.

This is the original intent of the family – dominion and fruitfulness; since I gained the consciousness of what marriage and family is, every time I get the opportunity to discuss with intending couples, I try to extract from our discussion the platform on which they intend to build their new family; in many cases they don’t have such compelling reason to want to be together, asides, I thought it was high time I got married and our parts crossed and she thought so to, then we decided to come forth with it, our families loved the idea, so here we are. To them as long as the needs of the family can be dealt with, food is on the table, and the family is comfortable, they are satisfied. Too bad, while the hundreds around them seem not to be able to get a footing in life, they just consider what’s best for themselves; this is why we are where we are as a nation – a state of distress and confusion, mismanagement giving rise to poverty and stunted growth and development in our economy, the result of good men deciding to do nothing.

This trend has been passed from the older generation down, a fear to do the extra, that make our ordinary efforts, extra-ordinary; many say accomplishing extra-ordinary feats in career or public service is function of money, others say it’s education, well Sonya Carson – mother of Curtis and Ben Carson, didn’t have any of the two, but she trained her sons to greatness; what’s the personal worth of the President of the United States or what’s his background like? All we know is that his mother put long lasting life principles into him and his siblings, and on this platform they chose their careers and excelled in their chosen path.

Many times when we talk about the development in our nation in comparison with other nation, we are tempted to dismiss it, by saying the conditions are different, but we are quick to forget that the information we have at our disposal today is so much that all we need is just the will to make a difference, and the result of this move for change is geometrical. This will not start with just one man, that’s why I write, speak and share my thought, some others do what they can do in their capacities and we all working towards the same goal we live to celebrate a better Nigeria.

The family platform starts on the basis of marriage, since I gained consciousness of my existence, the was thing yet very rampant I have experienced in life is family crisis, there are two ways people deal with this problem, so because they consider themselves Christian, and because it is accepted that once married forever married “till death do us part” they choose to endure the marriages with the numerous crisis, others choose to separate and possibly remarry. A number of times if the new marriage is built on the same platform as the first, the end result are pretty same. The reasons we experience such is not farfetched, the ideologies of many people about family issues is just too primitive.

In this discussion, I am not unaware of the adverse conditions of life that we might face in our different quarters, I am very aware of the possible adversities in life, they are not illusive to me and I will not stand here to say that at one time or the other I did not stand face to face with adversity, or I’m not prepared to face trying situations in the future, I consider these life circumstances and acknowledge them, but much important to me is the truth about conception, the sperm that fertilized the egg that yield the baby “you” faced adversity, because it was one of the million that came out, it was just fortunate, I guess by the virtue of hard work to it out ran its opponents to ensure that it is the man with the prize.

To me this is the story of life, we are bound to face challenging situation, we are bound to face trails, but the strength of our character is seen in our willingness to struggle instead of settle for fate, to fight instead of cringe, to make a mark instead of settling for mediocrity. This is what makes the difference.

Therefore, it beats my imagination to see men who are full men wait till they are told that it’s time to start a family before they begin to consider the prospects, I’m not saying they don’t have girlfriends or the likes, they do but settling down is not just one thing that comes to their head. The thoughts of the imminent reality of raise a family is clear to them but the purpose for which a family is raised seems to elude these folks, and the just live with the mentality that they’ll reproduce kids, train the kids to be like them or better than them, then die one day; And unfortunately, these men are the same people that must get married to some women, women who just believe that as long as he is rich, doesn’t bite his nails, handsome, talks well without bad breathe, he’s the man.

When such people hook up, you can only imagine what happens in their homes, when all the spark of superficiality is gone and the wealth doesn’t really speak much to the inner craving for companionship, when the spirituality of the Christian doesn’t make much difference in times of differences, and the beauty fade, sometimes the children delay; you’ll see the true colors of these folks, you’ll witness the result of a faulty foundation and the extent to which things can deteriorate is unimaginable.

In raising a family, compatibility of the partners is very important, I’m so aware of the concepts of arranged marriages, but in this age and time whether one is faced with that reality or not it is important to understand that the selection of a right partner is what makes your future what you hoped for. When the wrong choice is made at this point, the result is catastrophic, unless a conscious decision from the partners to work things out despite the differences, this is not same with enduring a marriage – this is taking conscious steps to understand the purpose of the family and learn what it takes to build one.

If the family must put a mark on the sand of time, the partners that make up the family must first be willing to make the mark on the sand of time as individuals, as my girlfriend will say, “I don’t subscribe with the idea that we are coming together to ‘complete’ each other, instead I believe we come together to ‘complement’ each other.” After analyzing the statics and dynamics of this statement, I subscribed to this idea too, because it’s one truth that will make a lot of difference in your approach to life. In the next part, I’ll talk more on this and the reasons why the partners in a family relationship are the most important parties in the union. Till then go make the world a better place, in the ways you can.

LONGMAN Dictionary of Contemporary English (LDCE) defines the family as “a closely related group – a group of people who are related to each other, especially a mother, a father and their children.” In elementary school, we were taught that “the family is the smallest unit in the society, consisting of father, mother and children related by blood” – what an innocent definition, not introducing little ones to the idea of divorce and remarriage, concepts that disproves the latter part of the definition.

Institution as defined in the LDCE is “an important system of organization that has existed for a long time.” This is true of the family; it is one of the world’s longest standing institutions in the world. Institutions provide an organized system of doing things in the society. My assumptions are if the family got the purpose of its establishment, other institutions in the society like the Presidency, Judiciary, State Executives, Local Councils, Legislatures at all levels, Social and Corporate services with get their bearings on doing what they do to benefit the people they serve and not the few members of these institutions and many more.

The foundation on which a family is built is marriage, the Holy Scriptures say, “If the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do?” and often times it’s been said that when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. Hence, if the foundation on which the family is built is faulty, the ultimate result is frustration and lack of joy and fulfillment. This is why many times individuals can’t live up to expectation and fail in their quest for greatness because of lack of proper training and sometime abuse they suffer on the family platform.

In the series on the purpose and power of the family, I will discuss the foundation, the building and the commissioning of the family as it relates to nation building. The excellence of any nation lies in the content of the character of its people. The character which is largely a function of the upbringing and training of the people; as a Nigerian, the kind of character that makes for nation building is not common. This is not unconnected to the misunderstanding of the purpose and power of the family.

Since the beginning of a family is coming together of a man and a woman, to build a successful family the man and the woman must connect in so many ways, not minding personal ideologies that they have kept all their lives based on their backgrounds.

The concept of this coming together of the man and the woman to start the family has been a great mystery to me since I gained the consciousness of such union; I’ll share some of the thought that ran through my mind over the years.

In most of the situations I can remember, many marriages started with the man considering himself wealthy enough to still remain single or too old to remain single, so he has to get married, then he works towards getting married; other times the lady considers herself too old hence works so hard to get herself fixed up, even if it has to be in a polygamous setting. These situations led me to belief that to a good number of people, marriage is a necessity or a way to procreate, without the thought of the original purpose of the union.

The original intent of the family summed up in two words would be dominion and fruitfulness, the family was to provide leadership at various levels, starting from the home the father is to provide exemplary leadership that guides his family in the right path for growth and development. In the event of expansion, the role of corporate leadership would eventually fall on the members of various families and they will be responsible for providing guidance and leadership for the general public. The members of these families that should take up the offices of public leadership would be expected to be worthy members of their society, people considered to be worthy leaders of their homes.

As I studied history to understand the patterns obtainable in the times of our forefathers I understood the foregoing was one of the factors for the growth and the development of small empires, empires which later developed into large kingdoms and a committee of provinces under the leadership of a central government. Hence, I learnt that all through history, the family has been a very important unit of the society.

Though marriage then would have not been considered as purposefully as it is meant to be considered, but the study of history tells that the wives of many great leaders were very involved in the success stories of these leaders. Hence, it won’t be wrong to say the person we get married to have a lot to do with how far we get in life, as I have heard a number of times behind a successful man, there is always a woman.

To this end I want to make a submission, for the original intent of the family to be realized, the man and the woman who come together to start a family must understand the original intent for the family. This is now my question what is the path to getting this understanding? Another question is what would be the danger of going into a union without this understanding?

In the next part of this series, I will be sharing thoughts on the foundation of this great institution – the family and the dangers of a faulty foundation. Till then, keep making the difference in the ways you can, because the little difference you make today will go a long way to keep the fire of change burning in the hearts of people around. Let your dream for change keep burning, because dreams never die, the live on as long as there is hope.

It may interest you to know that the Red Sea was a salty sea just over 190 miles (300 km) across at its widest point, and about 1,200 miles (1,900 km) in length. There’s a measured maximum depth of 8,200 feet (2,500 m), and an estimated average depth of 1,640 feet (500 m). So this was not a stream or some lake they were going to confront, it was something huge. Moses himself had not confronted that kind of challenge before and he only followed God’s plan to this point. Where were they going to get boats that would transport over 600, 000 men alone, then their families, their cattle, and all their goods? They probably needed something like over a thousand ocean liners to begin the journey and how could that be? Well, my modern mind may never comprehend appropriately what the nature of the challenge was, but believe me, it was not as sweetly sung as we often read it to be. Imagine the children crying, the mothers wailing, and the fathers downcast. Moses had real trouble in his hands. But something else was in his hands; something he was already familiar with.

I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do.
(John 17:4, NKJV, emphasis mine)

Then two chapters later while on the cross just before He died, He said:
“…It is finished!” And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit.
(John 19:30, NKJV, emphasis mine)
In the first scripture, Jesus said He had finished the work God gave Him to do and in the second scripture, to prove that He had indeed finished the work, He did not give up His spirit until He openly declared to every one that indeed, it was finished.
What was finished? His work was finished – His ministry was finished; for him to finish His ministry, it means He had done all that God wanted Him to do and that included a ministry to you.
Throughout His earthy ministry, Jesus was in touch with women. Right from the very first public act of His ministry to the last day, on which He died on the cross, He was in touch with women.
The first act in His public ministry was to turn water to wine at a wedding. In many cultures, it is not uncommon to hear the wedding referred to as the bride’s day. We can then safely say that Jesus’ very first act in public ministry was to provide the best wine at a woman’s event. Just think about it: Jesus started out by making a woman’s day! Her greatest day in fact! I wonder how that woman would have felt if she knew what Jesus had done for her and her husband on their wedding day– what a gift!
If she knew, I wonder how she would have felt seeing Jesus on the cross the day he died. I hear her saying something like this Man made my day on my wedding day. I see the warm tears running slowly down her cheeks as she yearns just to kiss His feet and look into His blood-covered eyes to tell Him thank you for the wine the other day.
Also, on the day He died, He ministered to another woman – this time, His mother. Standing looking on with the most inconsolable pain at her son bleeding on the cross was Mary. Can you imagine the pain of seeing your son die for something He didn’t do? Can you imagine the agony of gradually seeing life leave the body of your son as the blood flowed freely from His thorn-pierced head, his nail-pierced hands and feet, his spear-pierced side, and his scourged back?
This is what Mary had to go through the day Jesus died. But Jesus, with the little strength He had left ministered comfort to her with the kind of love that words cannot fully quantify:
Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.
(John 19:25-27, NKJV)
Mary’s cry on that day is the pain of a woman grieving over the loss of her child. It is also the pain of a woman unable to have one. But Jesus, showing the greatest measure of selfless love, not only comforted her over the loss of a child but in the same breath gave her a child. He relegated His own pain to soothe the pain of this woman – what manner of love and value He placed on his mother – and women as a whole.
I draw great strength from the scripture above and I rejoice that He did not say “Mary, behold your son,” but rather said “Woman, behold your son.” By this I believe Jesus was prophetically speaking to every woman these words of love, and great comfort.
He was speaking to you. He was speaking healing to your pain. He was speaking strength to your weakness. He was speaking refilling to you from your past that made you empty. He was speaking a child to your aching womb. He was speaking worth to your worthlessness. He was speaking joy to your sadness. He was speaking sight to your blindness. He was speaking yes to the entire no’s in you life. He was speaking purity to your filth. He was speaking life to all the dead things in your life – your marriage, your children, your finances, your career, your academics, your future, and all that concerns you. Jesus was speaking to you.
When there was happiness all around at the wedding, He was there. When there was grieving all around at the cross, He was there and without a doubt, He was everywhere in-between! So it doesn’t matter where you are right now; woman, Jesus has got a word for you today and I hear Him declaring to you that you are free to be the woman within.
Do you still need convincing that you are part of His ministry? Let us look together at the lives of some of the women He ministered to in His three and a half years of earthly ministry.
The woman with the issue of blood as recorded in the Gospel according to Saint Mark:
Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years, and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment. For she said, “If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well.” Immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the affliction. And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My clothes?” But His disciples said to Him, “You see the multitude thronging You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’” And He looked around to see her who had done this thing. But the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”
(Mark 5:25-34, NKJV)
The last verse is the sweetest but let me point out some things about this woman. First, she was referred to as a certain woman. Her name was not mentioned.
Secondly, she had a disease of the blood and according to the ceremonial law that obtained in that time, she was regarded as being unclean (Leviticus 15:19) and not fit to dwell among people.
Thirdly, she had suffered from this issue for twelve years and had lost everything she had trying to get healed but got worse. Her case was pathetic – she had lost her name, she was considered a stigma for twelve long years, she was broke, and on top of it all, her case grew worse.
Has life made you lose your name? Have people made jest of you and called you names that made you cry? Are you broke financially, emotionally or even spiritually? Do you feel like everything is getting worse as the days go by? Have you been suffering longer than this woman? If your answer is yes then listen to me: Today, God will say to you “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”
All you have to do is have faith in Him like this woman. She believed there was a miracle for her at the hem of His garment with her name written all over it. She believed she was part of His ministry and she got her miracle.
Even though many people pressed on Him so closely that He could hardly move, He felt only her touch because it was special. He felt her touch because she was special. She was so special He called her daughter.
What makes her story even sweeter is that Jesus was on His way to attend to another issue when she got her healing. If she wasn’t on His overall agenda, He would have just passed her by but because she was part of His ministry, she got her healing.
Jesus was on His way to heal someone else but there was a miracle for her even though she didn’t have an appointment! His movement was stalled because of this woman who had faith that she was part of the Messiah’s ministry. Woman, you are worth that much because you are not an afterthought.
The Syrophenician woman is another proof that you are part of His ministry:
And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him, saying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon-possessed.” But He answered her not a word. And His disciples came and urged Him, saying, “Send her away, for she cries out after us.” But He answered and said, “I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” Then she came and worshiped Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” But He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.” And she said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus answered and said to her, “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour.
(Matt 15:22-28, NKJV)
This woman was a gentile – an outcast. She was called a dog. Before you jump to conclusions about Jesus calling this woman a dog, read how the Albert Barnes’ New Testament Commentary explains verses 26 and 27 of the above verse: Our Saviour did not intend to justify or sanction the use of such terms, or calling names. He meant to try her faith. As if he had said, “You are a Gentile. I am a Jew. The Jews call themselves children of God. You they vilify, and abuse, calling you a dog. Are you willing to receive of a Jew, then, a favour? Are you willing to submit to these appellations, to receive a favour of one of that nation, and to acknowledge your dependence on a people that so despise you?” It was a trial of her faith, and not lending his sanction to the propriety of the abusive term. He regarded her with a different feeling.1
This woman passed the trial of faith and Albert Barnes’ New Testament Commentary on verse 27 put her response in a beautiful way: “What you say is true. Let it be that the best food should he given to the children. Let the Jews have the chief benefit of thy ministry. But the dogs, beneath the table, eat the crumbs. So let me be regarded as a dog, a heathen, as unworthy of everything. Yet grant one exertion of that almighty power, displayed so signally among the Jews, and heal the despised daughter of a despised heathen mother.”2
This woman was saying, Jesus, I am not looking for the front seat where you can see me. If you put me in the overflow I wouldn’t mind. In fact Jesus, if you put me in the overflow of the overflow it still wouldn’t make a difference. It doesn’t matter where You put me, I know You will reach me because I am part of your ministry!
That was faith speaking right there. She didn’t accept the term dog that she was labelled. She knew how valuable she was to Jesus and she got her miracle. God is willing to send that long awaited miracle your way today if only you come to believe and know that you are part of His ministry.
Again I say that you were not an afterthought to be included in Jesus’ ministry after His mission had been specified. You were at the very core of His mission briefing. Woman, you are worth that much to Him.