What would you say of a man and his wife, considering divorce because of an argument? Let me add a little perspective to the question – the bone of contention is ‘how the toothpaste should be used”, the man argues that “it must be used pressing the base of the tube instead of anywhere on the tube” while the woman says, “what difference does it make it’s just toothpaste, the end is getting it out of the tube, how we do that is entirely up to you and me as individuals.” On this grounds both parties consider themselves incompatible, hence the marriage is best nullified. Can that guy or lady be ever compatible with anyone?
Consider that one of these folks has to serve in a public office or a position to influence people and they still have this kind of mentality, what kind of influence will they have on the people they are leading, other than setting precedents for rivalry, division and contention, because they have no understanding of personal differences and how to manage inter-personal relationships.
Think of the man who says, “I love my wife and I beat her up any time she goes wrong because I love her, if I don’t do that she’ll no get how important so things are” what kind of love is this? I believe love without respect is ‘no-love’; this kind of man tends to see the woman beneath him and considers what “of what good is she than take care of the home and the children” hence when he meets other women folk in more organized environments he either has problem with them based on basis of ‘why they should be working in such environment’, and others tend ‘to compare their wives to the women they meet at work, hence they are never satisfied with what the woman does at home’.
Other men would consider listening to a woman as a sign of weakness, or giving thoughts and attention to her opinions a sign of weakness; others consider ‘that fear in my wife and kids is the beginning of respect. Some women consider that of what good is being sincere to him, when I can’t be sure that he is even sincere to me – with no platform on which to base her assumption; others think since I can’t trust the men folk, based on personal experiences or stories of hurt, rape or molestation, what’s the point getting married, I rather stay single adopt a child and live my life fighting against the ills of male chauvinism and dominance in the society. The question is what example is she setting, she’s not been able to manage a family, how can she really understand what women who are in families face, to know how to help them? The list of things to be considered in this issue is endless.
In my opinion, there is no utopia in marriage, no absolutes, because we are wired in different manners, what one person can accommodate might just be what another person will tolerate, hence they can’t be subjected to same circumstances and expected to yield same results. But based on the everlasting truth, the union of man and woman should be blissful, peaceful and productive with the main mandate for dominion and fruitfulness. This is not achieved by wishing or dreaming it, to fulfill the purpose of marriage and realize the power of the family, we must be willing to pay the price.
“Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth and subdue it…” is man’s mandate on earth and the creator saw that man needed a help-mate to accomplish these tasks; hence he gave him the woman – to compliments his efforts not to complete them. This was the first known marriage union. The concept of the help-mate in my opinion is a person who reasons with the partner on better ways to achieve their goals, and provides the required assistance in the pursuit of these goals, as we understand two are better than one. Many times men folks around see the woman as being beneath them, hence the avenues to share thoughts and ideas are eliminated. I must say a home without the voice of the woman is a home on its way to disaster.
Along the line in the history of human existence, man had to be the one to take the responsibility of choosing who to marry and deciding how his home will be run. A man must go out and search for the woman who he loves, would love and respect as long as they live, no one is entitled to making this decision for him, and he must structure the patterns in his house, no one is also entitled to doing this for him; and when he’s found the woman his heart desires, they are to pattern their family according by their ideas not by public opinion. In the society today, this is not so as these responsibilities now belong to the parents and members of the partners’ families, the church or social circles; many men don’t consider their choices good enough, or their folks don’t trust their choices, so the best is make this choice for them. Because of the fear of the future, many couples refuse to operate on their ideals when it comes to issue of the family, they prefer to operate on what people think and what people say, hence they build the home on a faulty foundation, selling the individuality of the kids that should come to that home to the opinions of the people. This I submit, the home that is run by the people cannot lead the people.
The Purpose and Power of The Family – Part 3
Posted by davidluiz in Family, Old files, Relationships and Family
Consider that one of these folks has to serve in a public office or a position to influence people and they still have this kind of mentality, what kind of influence will they have on the people they are leading, other than setting precedents for rivalry, division and contention, because they have no understanding of personal differences and how to manage inter-personal relationships.
Think of the man who says, “I love my wife and I beat her up any time she goes wrong because I love her, if I don’t do that she’ll no get how important so things are” what kind of love is this? I believe love without respect is ‘no-love’; this kind of man tends to see the woman beneath him and considers what “of what good is she than take care of the home and the children” hence when he meets other women folk in more organized environments he either has problem with them based on basis of ‘why they should be working in such environment’, and others tend ‘to compare their wives to the women they meet at work, hence they are never satisfied with what the woman does at home’.
Other men would consider listening to a woman as a sign of weakness, or giving thoughts and attention to her opinions a sign of weakness; others consider ‘that fear in my wife and kids is the beginning of respect. Some women consider that of what good is being sincere to him, when I can’t be sure that he is even sincere to me – with no platform on which to base her assumption; others think since I can’t trust the men folk, based on personal experiences or stories of hurt, rape or molestation, what’s the point getting married, I rather stay single adopt a child and live my life fighting against the ills of male chauvinism and dominance in the society. The question is what example is she setting, she’s not been able to manage a family, how can she really understand what women who are in families face, to know how to help them? The list of things to be considered in this issue is endless.
In my opinion, there is no utopia in marriage, no absolutes, because we are wired in different manners, what one person can accommodate might just be what another person will tolerate, hence they can’t be subjected to same circumstances and expected to yield same results. But based on the everlasting truth, the union of man and woman should be blissful, peaceful and productive with the main mandate for dominion and fruitfulness. This is not achieved by wishing or dreaming it, to fulfill the purpose of marriage and realize the power of the family, we must be willing to pay the price.
“Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth and subdue it…” is man’s mandate on earth and the creator saw that man needed a help-mate to accomplish these tasks; hence he gave him the woman – to compliments his efforts not to complete them. This was the first known marriage union. The concept of the help-mate in my opinion is a person who reasons with the partner on better ways to achieve their goals, and provides the required assistance in the pursuit of these goals, as we understand two are better than one. Many times men folks around see the woman as being beneath them, hence the avenues to share thoughts and ideas are eliminated. I must say a home without the voice of the woman is a home on its way to disaster.
Along the line in the history of human existence, man had to be the one to take the responsibility of choosing who to marry and deciding how his home will be run. A man must go out and search for the woman who he loves, would love and respect as long as they live, no one is entitled to making this decision for him, and he must structure the patterns in his house, no one is also entitled to doing this for him; and when he’s found the woman his heart desires, they are to pattern their family according by their ideas not by public opinion. In the society today, this is not so as these responsibilities now belong to the parents and members of the partners’ families, the church or social circles; many men don’t consider their choices good enough, or their folks don’t trust their choices, so the best is make this choice for them. Because of the fear of the future, many couples refuse to operate on their ideals when it comes to issue of the family, they prefer to operate on what people think and what people say, hence they build the home on a faulty foundation, selling the individuality of the kids that should come to that home to the opinions of the people. This I submit, the home that is run by the people cannot lead the people.
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